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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Moody.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
500
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhhhh, we just made it! That was close.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1589
Who:
Announcer
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1688
Who:
Wheatley
Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
Listens:
1808
Who:
Core 3
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Core 1
Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Get in the lift.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1122
Who:
Core 3
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
694
Who:
Core 3
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
945
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
875
Who:
Defective Turret
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1029
Who:
Core 1
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button again.
Listens:
1078
Who:
GLaDOS
Just so you know, I have to go give a deposition. For an upcoming trial. In case that interests you.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me down!
Listens:
979
Who:
Turret
Dang!
Listens:
550
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
662
Who:
Core 3
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1061
Who:
Defective Turret
Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1501
Who:
Announcer
Alright, just a second...
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Antisocial.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
We could get one of the crap turrets. We could put it in the scanner and see what happens.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2562
Who:
Turret
This isn't fair!
Listens:
679
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Any ideas? Any ideas? No? No, me neither.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
711
Who:
Core 3
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
876
Who:
Defective Turret
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought.
Listens:
3437
Who:
GLaDOS
Careful... Careful...
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
29359
Who:
GLaDOS
Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
Listens:
3352
Who:
Core 2
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2475
Who:
Wheatley
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3344
Who:
Cave Johnson
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Problems with authority.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
2369
Who:
Wheatley
I tell you, if I was up against impossible odds, this is the way I'd want to go out: mashed with dignity. That'd be the way I'd choose.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4501
Who:
Wheatley
But it's not too late to avoid all of that by simply not using the gel. There you go, I said it. I gave away my plan. But I couldn't watch you hurt yourself like this.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
584
Who:
Core 3
It's been a long time. How have you been?
Listens:
47911
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Just--do the test! Just do the test.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, I like this guy.
Listens:
1512
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
939
Who:
Wheatley
Walk casually toward my position and we'll go shut her down.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
1140
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
898
Who:
Defective Turret
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4520
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
2987
Who:
Turret
[clap clap]
Listens:
21822
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1478
Who:
Caroline
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1504
Who:
GLaDOS
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1570
Who:
Core 1
She did all the work.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
582
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space.
Listens:
214078
Who:
Core 1
Yeah!
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3755
Who:
Wheatley
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
875
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Not you, test subject, you're doing fine.
Listens:
1818
Who:
Cave Johnson
You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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