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Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.
Listens:
39100
Who:
Cave Johnson
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
844
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
974
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
537
Who:
Announcer
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
204
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
2646
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
210
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
151
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1844
Who:
Turret
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
193
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
799
Who:
Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]
Listens:
3210
Who:
Announcer
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on...
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
211
Who:
Wheatley
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
156
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
18505
Who:
Announcer
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
395
Who:
Core 2
But I need to protect the humans!
Listens:
2966
Who:
Turret
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
I need backup!
Listens:
403
Who:
Turret
No!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
425
Who:
Defective Turret
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
Listens:
1153
Who:
Core 2
We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
210
Who:
GLaDOS
Hooray!
Listens:
3255
Who:
Turret
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
806
Who:
Announcer
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
226
Who:
GLaDOS
It's the lift just there. The thing that looks like a lift. That's what you're looking for. It is confusing, I know.
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
227
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not, though.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
614
Who:
Wheatley
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1263
Who:
Announcer
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
612
Who:
Wheatley
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
2510
Who:
Defective Turret
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
204
Who:
Wheatley
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
157
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
584
Who:
Wheatley
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
825
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
252
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay! Keep your eye on the turret line, I'm gonna go and hack the door open.
Listens:
189
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't think I want to go through that again.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
723
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
9687
Who:
Defective Turret
Undermines others.
Listens:
189
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1122
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
156
Who:
GLaDOS
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
4584
Who:
Core 1
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
4058
Who:
GLaDOS
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
2727
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1044
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
11175
Who:
Announcer
It appears you're developing human traits. The worst human traits.
Listens:
150
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Here, let me get that for you.
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1236
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
341
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
469
Who:
Core 3
Okay. Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button.
Listens:
198
Who:
Wheatley
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
149
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, be a sport lady, and just tell him I killed you.
Listens:
1843
Who:
Defective Turret
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
151
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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