Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Back again!
Listens:
985
Who:
Defective Turret
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1714
Who:
Defective Turret
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3770
Who:
GLaDOS
Finish it...
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
711
Who:
Core 3
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1761
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
1012
Who:
Cave Johnson
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
886
Who:
Wheatley
Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Announcer
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1145
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
847
Who:
Wheatley
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2526
Who:
Turret
Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.
Listens:
2964
Who:
Announcer
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1417
Who:
Defective Turret
Alalalawl
Listens:
5633
Who:
Turret
I know you.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1380
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
'Goodbye, Caroline.'
Listens:
24090
Who:
Caroline
Was that necessary?
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
3327
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1625
Who:
Core 1
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
887
Who:
Turret
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1678
Who:
Core 3
Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
920
Who:
GLaDOS
Get in the lift! Get in the lift!
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Listens:
3472
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir, the test.
Listens:
1419
Who:
Caroline
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
430
Who:
Core 2
If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there.
Listens:
2065
Who:
Cave Johnson
Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
There should be one in the corner.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
Right. Well, I’m going to take this rail down the back way.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
925
Who:
Turret
Nobody is going to space, mate!
Listens:
21830
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
904
Who:
Defective Turret
Come to gloat?
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Stubborn.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
SHUT UP!
Listens:
19395
Who:
Wheatley
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
998
Who:
Core 1
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1156
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1947
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
754
Who:
Turret
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
I, uh... don't have any bullets. Are you gonna give me any bullets? Are the bullets up there?
Listens:
4469
Who:
Defective Turret
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Mister Johnson
Listens:
1790
Who:
Caroline
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1478
Who:
Caroline
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
3999
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
And to your right, something huge hurtling towards you OH GOD RUN! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
Listens:
2769
Who:
Wheatley
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1044
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
602
Who:
Wheatley
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place.
Listens:
4965
Who:
Cave Johnson
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6418
Who:
Turret
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
712
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir!
Listens:
1371
Who:
Caroline
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
2101
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Um, hello?
Listens:
1411
Who:
Turret
Why...
Listens:
2845
Who:
Turret
Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!
Listens:
31912
Who:
Core 2
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!