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Portal 2
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No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
526
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
524
Who:
Defective Turret
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
523
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 3
Core transfer?
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
521
Who:
Turret
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
519
Who:
Turret
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Hey!
Listens:
518
Who:
Turret
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
517
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
517
Who:
Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
517
Who:
Turret
I'm kidding.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
516
Who:
Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
514
Who:
Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 3
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 2
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
513
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
512
Who:
Turret
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
See you soon!
Listens:
508
Who:
Turret
Okay, you win.
Listens:
506
Who:
Turret
Can't breathe...
Listens:
506
Who:
Turret
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
505
Who:
Turret
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
Oh dear.
Listens:
501
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
500
Who:
Core 3
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 3
Oops.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
493
Who:
Defective Turret
NO!
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
490
Who:
Defective Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 3
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
485
Who:
Core 3
I lied.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
479
Who:
Core 3
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
477
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 2
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
473
Who:
Defective Turret
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
472
Who:
Turret
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
471
Who:
Core 2
Help!
Listens:
471
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
470
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
469
Who:
Core 3
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Owwww!
Listens:
466
Who:
Turret
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
Owww!
Listens:
464
Who:
Turret
Wow.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
461
Who:
Core 3
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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