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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Oh dear.
Listens:
588
Who:
Turret
Hi?
Listens:
588
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
588
Who:
Turret
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
586
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
586
Who:
GLaDOS
This is trouble.
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, you win.
Listens:
585
Who:
Turret
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
582
Who:
Core 2
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
581
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
Owwww!
Listens:
581
Who:
Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
581
Who:
Turret
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
580
Who:
Core 2
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
See you soon!
Listens:
579
Who:
Turret
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
577
Who:
Defective Turret
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
576
Who:
Core 3
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
575
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
570
Who:
Core 3
I'm kidding.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
563
Who:
Core 3
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
562
Who:
Defective Turret
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 2
Owww!
Listens:
554
Who:
Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
549
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
547
Who:
Turret
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Help!
Listens:
546
Who:
Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
544
Who:
Defective Turret
NO!
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
543
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 3
Oops.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
539
Who:
Core 3
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Fact not found.
Listens:
531
Who:
Core 3
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 3
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
529
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 3
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
521
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
521
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
521
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
518
Who:
Core 3
Briefly.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
517
Who:
Core 3
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
515
Who:
Core 3
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
511
Who:
Core 3
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
511
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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