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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
516
Who:
Announcer
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
515
Who:
Defective Turret
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
514
Who:
Core 3
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 3
Hi?
Listens:
513
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
512
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
511
Who:
Core 2
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
510
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
510
Who:
Turret
Hey!
Listens:
510
Who:
Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
510
Who:
Turret
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
506
Who:
Turret
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
506
Who:
Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
505
Who:
Core 3
Hello.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
505
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
503
Who:
Turret
She was provoking you.
Listens:
503
Who:
Turret
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
Searching
Listens:
497
Who:
Turret
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
495
Who:
Core 3
Ahh. What?
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
See you soon!
Listens:
495
Who:
Turret
Take me with you...
Listens:
494
Who:
Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Can't breathe...
Listens:
493
Who:
Turret
Oops.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, you win.
Listens:
490
Who:
Turret
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Oh dear.
Listens:
488
Who:
Turret
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 3
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
479
Who:
Core 3
I lied.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
475
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
475
Who:
Core 3
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
474
Who:
Defective Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
474
Who:
Defective Turret
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
471
Who:
Core 2
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
470
Who:
Defective Turret
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
469
Who:
Core 3
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
469
Who:
Core 2
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
466
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
464
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
464
Who:
Core 3
Blue
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
461
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
460
Who:
Turret
Help!
Listens:
460
Who:
Turret
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
459
Who:
Defective Turret
Wow.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
455
Who:
Core 2
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
455
Who:
Turret
That's horrible.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwww!
Listens:
454
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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