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Portal 2
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Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
675
Who:
Wheatley
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
675
Who:
Defective Turret
Help!
Listens:
675
Who:
Turret
Lady.
Listens:
674
Who:
Core 1
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
673
Who:
Core 3
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
672
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
670
Who:
Defective Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
669
Who:
Turret
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding.
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
663
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
657
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 3
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
650
Who:
Defective Turret
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
641
Who:
Core 3
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
639
Who:
Turret
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
634
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
632
Who:
Core 2
Oops.
Listens:
631
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
629
Who:
Core 2
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
624
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
622
Who:
Core 3
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
620
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
620
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
620
Who:
Defective Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
617
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
615
Who:
Core 3
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
615
Who:
Core 3
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
615
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
614
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
614
Who:
Defective Turret
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
613
Who:
Core 2
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
612
Who:
Wheatley
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
608
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
605
Who:
Core 3
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
604
Who:
Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
602
Who:
Wheatley
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
601
Who:
Core 3
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
600
Who:
Defective Turret
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
599
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
599
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
598
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
598
Who:
Defective Turret
Good shot!
Listens:
597
Who:
Turret
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
596
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
596
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
595
Who:
Turret
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
594
Who:
Defective Turret
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
593
Who:
Defective Turret
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
591
Who:
Defective Turret
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 3
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
584
Who:
Core 3
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
583
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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