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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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Listens:
707
Who:
Turret
Lady.
Listens:
706
Who:
Core 1
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
Help!
Listens:
706
Who:
Turret
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
704
Who:
Turret
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
701
Who:
Core 3
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
700
Who:
Core 3
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
699
Who:
Defective Turret
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 3
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
683
Who:
Defective Turret
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
682
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
678
Who:
Core 3
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
674
Who:
Defective Turret
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
673
Who:
Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
671
Who:
Core 3
I lied.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 3
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 3
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
655
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
654
Who:
Core 2
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
652
Who:
Core 3
Oops.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
650
Who:
Core 2
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
647
Who:
Defective Turret
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
645
Who:
Defective Turret
Briefly.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
640
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
638
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
636
Who:
Core 3
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
636
Who:
Core 2
NO!
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
636
Who:
Turret
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
635
Who:
Core 3
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
635
Who:
Core 3
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
632
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
632
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
632
Who:
Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
631
Who:
Turret
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
624
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
622
Who:
Core 3
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
621
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
621
Who:
Defective Turret
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
620
Who:
Wheatley
Noted.
Listens:
620
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
619
Who:
Core 3
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
618
Who:
Core 3
One
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
616
Who:
Defective Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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