Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
543
Who:
Turret
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 3
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 3
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
540
Who:
Turret
Take me with you...
Listens:
540
Who:
Turret
Hi?
Listens:
540
Who:
Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
540
Who:
Turret
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
539
Who:
Defective Turret
She was provoking you.
Listens:
539
Who:
Turret
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
538
Who:
Turret
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
537
Who:
Wheatley
Can't breathe...
Listens:
537
Who:
Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
536
Who:
Defective Turret
Excuse me?
Listens:
536
Who:
Turret
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
536
Who:
Turret
I'm kidding.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
534
Who:
Defective Turret
Searching
Listens:
534
Who:
Turret
Core transfer?
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
529
Who:
Core 3
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
See you soon!
Listens:
529
Who:
Turret
Okay, you win.
Listens:
529
Who:
Turret
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh. What?
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
523
Who:
Core 3
Oh dear.
Listens:
522
Who:
Turret
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 2
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
Oops.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
513
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
510
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
509
Who:
Core 3
I lied.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
500
Who:
Defective Turret
Help!
Listens:
500
Who:
Turret
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
499
Who:
Defective Turret
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 3
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Owwww!
Listens:
493
Who:
Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
492
Who:
Core 3
Excuse me?
Listens:
490
Who:
Turret
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
487
Who:
Turret
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
484
Who:
Core 3
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
484
Who:
Core 3
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
481
Who:
Core 3
Wow.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
478
Who:
Core 3
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
477
Who:
Defective Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 2
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
476
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
