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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Don't. Do it.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
602
Who:
Turret
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
601
Who:
Core 3
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
601
Who:
Turret
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
599
Who:
GLaDOS
See you soon!
Listens:
599
Who:
Turret
Lady.
Listens:
597
Who:
Core 1
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
596
Who:
Turret
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
595
Who:
Core 3
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
This is trouble.
Listens:
595
Who:
Defective Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
595
Who:
Turret
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
594
Who:
Core 2
Hello.
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
592
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
592
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
I'm kidding.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
579
Who:
Core 3
Core transfer?
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
577
Who:
Turret
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
565
Who:
Core 2
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
564
Who:
Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
563
Who:
Core 3
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Help!
Listens:
556
Who:
Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
555
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
555
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
554
Who:
Core 3
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
554
Who:
Defective Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
554
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
Fact not found.
Listens:
549
Who:
Core 3
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
542
Who:
Defective Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
539
Who:
Core 3
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
535
Who:
Core 3
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 3
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
531
Who:
Core 3
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
531
Who:
Wheatley
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
531
Who:
Defective Turret
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 3
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
527
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
526
Who:
Wheatley
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
526
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
525
Who:
Defective Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
524
Who:
Core 2
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