Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 2
You won't regret this!
Listens:
690
Who:
Defective Turret
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
689
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
688
Who:
Core 2
Oh my.
Listens:
688
Who:
Turret
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
687
Who:
Turret
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
684
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 1
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
three
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
682
Who:
Wheatley
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
This isn't fair!
Listens:
679
Who:
Defective Turret
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
678
Who:
Core 3
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh...
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
669
Who:
Defective Turret
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
667
Who:
Turret
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
662
Who:
Core 3
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
659
Who:
Defective Turret
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
658
Who:
Core 3
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
650
Who:
Turret
Lady.
Listens:
649
Who:
Core 1
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 2
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
647
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
647
Who:
Defective Turret
It's not, though.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
645
Who:
Defective Turret
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
643
Who:
Core 3
[yelling]
Listens:
643
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
643
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
636
Who:
Core 1
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
636
Who:
Core 3
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
631
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
630
Who:
Core 3
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!