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Portal 2
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I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
720
Who:
Defective Turret
Going to space.
Listens:
718
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
717
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you...
Listens:
717
Who:
Turret
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
715
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
713
Who:
Defective Turret
It's my big chance!
Listens:
713
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
712
Who:
Core 1
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
711
Who:
Announcer
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
709
Who:
Core 3
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
708
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
708
Who:
Defective Turret
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
705
Who:
Core 3
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
702
Who:
Core 3
Crap!
Listens:
701
Who:
Defective Turret
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
696
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 3
Really? Okay.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
691
Who:
Cave Johnson
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
688
Who:
Announcer
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
688
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
688
Who:
Cave Johnson
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
688
Who:
Core 2
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
686
Who:
Cave Johnson
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
684
Who:
Cave Johnson
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
684
Who:
Turret
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
682
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
680
Who:
Cave Johnson
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
676
Who:
Defective Turret
I made it all up.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
672
Who:
GLaDOS
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
671
Who:
Core 3
Back again!
Listens:
671
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
671
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Illegal operation
Listens:
665
Who:
Turret
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 3
Yes!
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
660
Who:
Turret
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
657
Who:
Turret
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 2
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
656
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
654
Who:
Announcer
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
GO.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
648
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
637
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
636
Who:
Defective Turret
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
634
Who:
Core 1
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
633
Who:
Core 3
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
632
Who:
Core 3
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
631
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing?
Listens:
627
Who:
Turret
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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