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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
739
Who:
Announcer
I'm going to space.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
737
Who:
Wheatley
You will never go into space.
Listens:
735
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
734
Who:
Core 1
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
733
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
732
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
730
Who:
Core 3
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
730
Who:
Defective Turret
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
729
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
726
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
726
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button again.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
723
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
719
Who:
Core 3
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
719
Who:
GLaDOS
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
718
Who:
Core 3
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
717
Who:
Wheatley
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
715
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
714
Who:
Turret
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
713
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
711
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
710
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
709
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
709
Who:
Cave Johnson
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
708
Who:
Cave Johnson
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
703
Who:
Announcer
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
700
Who:
Core 3
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
700
Who:
Core 2
Really? Okay.
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
698
Who:
Defective Turret
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
Illegal operation
Listens:
693
Who:
Turret
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
688
Who:
Defective Turret
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
681
Who:
Core 3
Paradoxes.
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
679
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
678
Who:
Turret
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
678
Who:
Turret
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
676
Who:
Core 3
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
674
Who:
Announcer
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
672
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
671
Who:
Defective Turret
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 2
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
654
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
654
Who:
Turret
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
653
Who:
Core 1
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
653
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing?
Listens:
653
Who:
Turret
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 3
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
648
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
641
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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