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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I love space.
Listens:
881
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
881
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
881
Who:
GLaDOS
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
878
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
878
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
878
Who:
Core 1
Really? Okay.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
876
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
876
Who:
Core 3
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
875
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
873
Who:
Core 1
Machiavellian!
Listens:
873
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
872
Who:
Turret
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
871
Who:
Defective Turret
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
870
Who:
Announcer
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
869
Who:
Wheatley
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
866
Who:
Wheatley
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
864
Who:
Wheatley
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
864
Who:
Turret
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
863
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blah.
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
858
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
857
Who:
Defective Turret
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
855
Who:
Cave Johnson
GO.
Listens:
855
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
855
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow!
Listens:
852
Who:
Turret
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
851
Who:
Wheatley
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
850
Who:
Core 2
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
848
Who:
Wheatley
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
847
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
846
Who:
Cave Johnson
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
846
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
846
Who:
Defective Turret
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
843
Who:
Cave Johnson
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
842
Who:
Cave Johnson
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
841
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
840
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
837
Who:
Announcer
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
832
Who:
Turret
Back again!
Listens:
831
Who:
Defective Turret
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
830
Who:
Announcer
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
830
Who:
Core 2
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
825
Who:
Defective Turret
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
823
Who:
Core 3
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
822
Who:
Wheatley
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
820
Who:
Defective Turret
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
819
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
819
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
815
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
815
Who:
Turret
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
812
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 3
Owww!
Listens:
809
Who:
Turret
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
808
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
807
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
805
Who:
Defective Turret
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
804
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
Uhoh
Listens:
800
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
800
Who:
Turret
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
798
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
796
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
794
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Hey
Listens:
792
Who:
Turret
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
791
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
788
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
Hi again!
Listens:
787
Who:
Defective Turret
Paradoxes.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
782
Who:
Wheatley
Can I help you?
Listens:
782
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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