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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
660
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space.
Listens:
660
Who:
Core 1
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
660
Who:
Core 3
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
659
Who:
Core 1
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
659
Who:
Core 3
Take me with you...
Listens:
659
Who:
Turret
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
656
Who:
Cave Johnson
Please go to space.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 1
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
656
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
656
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to space.
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
653
Who:
Core 1
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 1
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
648
Who:
Cave Johnson
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 2
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
646
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
646
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
646
Who:
Cave Johnson
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
646
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
644
Who:
Defective Turret
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
642
Who:
Announcer
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
642
Who:
Cave Johnson
I made it all up.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
641
Who:
Core 3
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
640
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
640
Who:
Wheatley
Paradoxes.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
637
Who:
Turret
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
634
Who:
Defective Turret
Back again!
Listens:
631
Who:
Defective Turret
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
627
Who:
Core 3
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
625
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
624
Who:
Wheatley
Really? Okay.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
620
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
616
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
615
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
612
Who:
Turret
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
611
Who:
Core 1
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
611
Who:
Turret
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
610
Who:
Announcer
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
608
Who:
Core 3
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
608
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Illegal operation
Listens:
608
Who:
Turret
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
606
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
606
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
604
Who:
Wheatley
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
600
Who:
Core 3
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
598
Who:
Core 1
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
596
Who:
Core 3
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
593
Who:
Announcer
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
593
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 3
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 2
Hello!
Listens:
589
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
586
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
585
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
585
Who:
Defective Turret
GO.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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