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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 1
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
766
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
766
Who:
Core 1
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
766
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
762
Who:
Defective Turret
Blah.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
You will never go into space.
Listens:
760
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
760
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
753
Who:
Core 3
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
752
Who:
Cave Johnson
Press the button again.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
751
Who:
Core 3
Crap!
Listens:
750
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
749
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
748
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
745
Who:
Turret
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
744
Who:
Wheatley
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 3
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
741
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
737
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
736
Who:
Announcer
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
735
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
735
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
732
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
732
Who:
Cave Johnson
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
731
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
731
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
730
Who:
Cave Johnson
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Illegal operation
Listens:
730
Who:
Turret
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
729
Who:
Defective Turret
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
727
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
726
Who:
Core 2
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
723
Who:
Wheatley
Back again!
Listens:
723
Who:
Defective Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
721
Who:
Core 3
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
720
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
719
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
719
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
719
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
713
Who:
Core 3
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
712
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
710
Who:
Defective Turret
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
709
Who:
Turret
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
701
Who:
Announcer
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
701
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
701
Who:
Defective Turret
Paradoxes.
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
700
Who:
Turret
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
GO.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
694
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me down!
Listens:
691
Who:
Turret
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing?
Listens:
686
Who:
Turret
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow!
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
684
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
681
Who:
Core 2
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
680
Who:
Core 1
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
679
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
676
Who:
Defective Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
675
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
669
Who:
Announcer
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
669
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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