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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Really? Okay.
Listens:
845
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
843
Who:
Core 1
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
842
Who:
Announcer
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
842
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
840
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
840
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Please go to space.
Listens:
837
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
835
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 3
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
834
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
832
Who:
Defective Turret
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
829
Who:
Wheatley
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
827
Who:
Core 3
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
826
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
826
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
824
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
824
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
823
Who:
Core 2
Ow!
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
811
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
811
Who:
Cave Johnson
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
810
Who:
Announcer
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
810
Who:
Cave Johnson
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
810
Who:
Cave Johnson
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
808
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
808
Who:
Defective Turret
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
807
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
806
Who:
Cave Johnson
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
806
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
803
Who:
Core 3
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
798
Who:
Announcer
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
797
Who:
Core 3
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
793
Who:
Turret
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
792
Who:
Announcer
clickclickclick
Listens:
792
Who:
Defective Turret
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 2
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
787
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
786
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
786
Who:
Turret
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
784
Who:
Defective Turret
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
782
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
780
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
779
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
778
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
778
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
776
Who:
Defective Turret
Owww!
Listens:
776
Who:
Turret
I made it all up.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 3
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
769
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
767
Who:
Turret
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
763
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhoh
Listens:
763
Who:
Turret
Paradoxes.
Listens:
760
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
760
Who:
Wheatley
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
757
Who:
Defective Turret
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
754
Who:
Wheatley
Can I help you?
Listens:
754
Who:
Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
753
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey
Listens:
753
Who:
Turret
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 3
Hello!
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
749
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
748
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
748
Who:
Wheatley
Hi again!
Listens:
748
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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