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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 3
Press the button again.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
785
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
785
Who:
Defective Turret
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
784
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
783
Who:
Defective Turret
Please go to space.
Listens:
782
Who:
Core 1
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
782
Who:
Core 2
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
778
Who:
Cave Johnson
You will never go into space.
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 3
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
778
Who:
Wheatley
Really? Okay.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
774
Who:
Wheatley
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
773
Who:
Wheatley
Illegal operation
Listens:
773
Who:
Turret
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 3
Yes!
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
771
Who:
Turret
What are you doing?
Listens:
767
Who:
Turret
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
765
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
763
Who:
Announcer
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
762
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
762
Who:
Defective Turret
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
761
Who:
Wheatley
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
758
Who:
Core 3
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
757
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blah.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
756
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
754
Who:
Cave Johnson
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
754
Who:
Wheatley
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
752
Who:
Cave Johnson
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
751
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
751
Who:
Cave Johnson
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
750
Who:
Cave Johnson
Back again!
Listens:
749
Who:
Defective Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
748
Who:
Core 2
clickclickclick
Listens:
747
Who:
Defective Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
744
Who:
Core 3
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
744
Who:
Wheatley
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow!
Listens:
742
Who:
Turret
GO.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
740
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
735
Who:
Turret
No!
Listens:
734
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
733
Who:
Defective Turret
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
732
Who:
Core 3
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
732
Who:
Core 3
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
729
Who:
Announcer
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
729
Who:
Turret
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
729
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
727
Who:
Turret
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
723
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Paradoxes.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
715
Who:
Defective Turret
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
714
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
713
Who:
Wheatley
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
711
Who:
Announcer
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
711
Who:
Core 3
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
709
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
706
Who:
Defective Turret
Owww!
Listens:
705
Who:
Turret
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
701
Who:
Defective Turret
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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