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If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
904
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
904
Who:
Defective Turret
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
903
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm going to space.
Listens:
903
Who:
Core 1
GO.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
903
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
902
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
902
Who:
Wheatley
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
901
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
900
Who:
Core 1
It won't be enough.
Listens:
899
Who:
Turret
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
898
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
897
Who:
Core 3
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
897
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
896
Who:
Defective Turret
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
894
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
891
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
890
Who:
Wheatley
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
889
Who:
GLaDOS
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
888
Who:
Announcer
Hey.
Listens:
888
Who:
Core 1
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
888
Who:
Defective Turret
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
887
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
886
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
885
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
885
Who:
Turret
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
879
Who:
Wheatley
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
877
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blah.
Listens:
876
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow!
Listens:
876
Who:
Turret
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
875
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
875
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
874
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
872
Who:
Cave Johnson
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
867
Who:
Core 3
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
867
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
867
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
866
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
865
Who:
Core 2
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
858
Who:
Announcer
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
858
Who:
Cave Johnson
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
857
Who:
Cave Johnson
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
857
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
857
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
857
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
856
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
855
Who:
Turret
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
854
Who:
Announcer
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
854
Who:
Defective Turret
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
Back again!
Listens:
849
Who:
Defective Turret
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
846
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
846
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you...
Listens:
845
Who:
Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
844
Who:
Core 2
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
844
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
843
Who:
Wheatley
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
841
Who:
Defective Turret
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
840
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
838
Who:
Wheatley
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me down!
Listens:
834
Who:
Turret
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
833
Who:
Core 3
I made it all up.
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
Owww!
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
824
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
822
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
822
Who:
Wheatley
Uhoh
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 3
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
818
Who:
Wheatley
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
817
Who:
Defective Turret
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
814
Who:
Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
813
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
812
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
811
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
808
Who:
Turret
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
807
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
Paradoxes.
Listens:
806
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwww!
Listens:
805
Who:
Turret
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
805
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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