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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I'm going to space.
Listens:
779
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
779
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 1
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
778
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
776
Who:
Defective Turret
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
775
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button again.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Please go to space.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 1
Crap!
Listens:
771
Who:
Defective Turret
You will never go into space.
Listens:
770
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
769
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
766
Who:
Cave Johnson
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
765
Who:
Core 3
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
765
Who:
Core 3
Blah.
Listens:
763
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
760
Who:
Turret
Really? Okay.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
Illegal operation
Listens:
758
Who:
Turret
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
754
Who:
Wheatley
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
753
Who:
Core 3
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
752
Who:
Announcer
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
749
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yes!
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
746
Who:
GLaDOS
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
746
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
745
Who:
Cave Johnson
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
745
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
744
Who:
Defective Turret
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
743
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
743
Who:
Cave Johnson
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 2
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
741
Who:
Defective Turret
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
737
Who:
Cave Johnson
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
737
Who:
Wheatley
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
735
Who:
Wheatley
I made it all up.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
728
Who:
Core 3
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
727
Who:
Core 3
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
726
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
725
Who:
Turret
GO.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
723
Who:
Turret
Ow!
Listens:
723
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
722
Who:
Defective Turret
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
721
Who:
Announcer
No!
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
720
Who:
Turret
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
719
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Put me down!
Listens:
717
Who:
Turret
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
711
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
707
Who:
Core 3
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
704
Who:
Defective Turret
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
701
Who:
Wheatley
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
697
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
695
Who:
Announcer
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
693
Who:
Defective Turret
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Hi again!
Listens:
692
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 1
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
687
Who:
Defective Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
686
Who:
Core 3
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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