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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Listens:
868
Who:
Defective Turret
Really? Okay.
Listens:
867
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 1
I'm going to space.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 1
Press the button again.
Listens:
866
Who:
GLaDOS
Going to space.
Listens:
865
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
865
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
863
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
863
Who:
Core 1
Machiavellian!
Listens:
863
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
862
Who:
Announcer
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
862
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
862
Who:
Defective Turret
It won't be enough.
Listens:
861
Who:
Turret
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
853
Who:
Announcer
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
852
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
850
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
849
Who:
Turret
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
848
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
846
Who:
GLaDOS
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
846
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
845
Who:
Cave Johnson
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
845
Who:
GLaDOS
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
845
Who:
Wheatley
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
844
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
844
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
842
Who:
Core 2
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
841
Who:
Turret
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
839
Who:
Cave Johnson
GO.
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
835
Who:
Wheatley
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
834
Who:
Cave Johnson
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 3
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
832
Who:
Cave Johnson
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
831
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
831
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
831
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
829
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
826
Who:
Announcer
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
824
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
822
Who:
Defective Turret
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
821
Who:
Defective Turret
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
818
Who:
Announcer
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
818
Who:
Core 2
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
815
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
813
Who:
Turret
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
812
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
812
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
812
Who:
Defective Turret
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
808
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
808
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
805
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
803
Who:
Core 3
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Put me down!
Listens:
803
Who:
Turret
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
801
Who:
Turret
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
799
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
795
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
795
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
793
Who:
Turret
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
792
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
791
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
Uhoh
Listens:
781
Who:
Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
779
Who:
Wheatley
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
779
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey
Listens:
779
Who:
Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
778
Who:
Defective Turret
Paradoxes.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
777
Who:
Turret
Can I help you?
Listens:
773
Who:
Turret
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
772
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
771
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
770
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
770
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
770
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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