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Portal 2
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Woooaaah!
Listens:
1060
Who:
Turret
You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you.
Listens:
1056
Who:
Cave Johnson
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1055
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1054
Who:
Core 1
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1053
Who:
Cave Johnson
Please stop.
Listens:
1051
Who:
Turret
Space.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 1
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 3
Lady.
Listens:
1034
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1032
Who:
GLaDOS
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1031
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1028
Who:
Cave Johnson
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1023
Who:
Turret
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1019
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1014
Who:
Wheatley
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1011
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1008
Who:
Wheatley
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1008
Who:
Wheatley
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
1005
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1001
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1001
Who:
Turret
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
997
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
994
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go home.
Listens:
994
Who:
Core 1
Why?
Listens:
994
Who:
Turret
Hello.
Listens:
993
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
992
Who:
Wheatley
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
989
Who:
Cave Johnson
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
987
Who:
Core 3
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
984
Who:
Core 3
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
983
Who:
Defective Turret
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
981
Who:
Announcer
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
981
Who:
Core 3
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
979
Who:
GLaDOS
Helloooo?
Listens:
977
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
976
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
975
Who:
Wheatley
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
974
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
974
Who:
Defective Turret
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
973
Who:
Core 3
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
971
Who:
Announcer
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
970
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
967
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
967
Who:
Core 1
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
966
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
965
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
964
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
962
Who:
Announcer
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
961
Who:
GLaDOS
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
961
Who:
Wheatley
No hard fealings
Listens:
958
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
954
Who:
Core 1
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
952
Who:
Core 3
Yes!
Listens:
952
Who:
GLaDOS
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
950
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
949
Who:
Core 1
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
947
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
946
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
946
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
941
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
938
Who:
Core 1
What are you doing?
Listens:
938
Who:
Turret
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
937
Who:
Core 1
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
935
Who:
Announcer
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
935
Who:
Core 1
Illegal operation
Listens:
935
Who:
Turret
Crap!
Listens:
933
Who:
Defective Turret
Space.
Listens:
932
Who:
Core 1
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
932
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
930
Who:
Core 1
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
930
Who:
Core 1
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
926
Who:
Cave Johnson
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
926
Who:
Core 3
Are we in space?
Listens:
924
Who:
Core 1
It's my big chance!
Listens:
923
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
922
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
922
Who:
Defective Turret
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
919
Who:
Core 1
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
919
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
918
Who:
Core 1
You will never go into space.
Listens:
918
Who:
Core 3
GO.
Listens:
918
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
918
Who:
Wheatley
I love space.
Listens:
917
Who:
Core 1
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
916
Who:
Cave Johnson
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
916
Who:
Core 3
Press the button again.
Listens:
916
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
915
Who:
Announcer
Space.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
913
Who:
Core 1
Really? Okay.
Listens:
912
Who:
GLaDOS
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
912
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
912
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
911
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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