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Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
864
Who:
Wheatley
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
861
Who:
Core 3
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
859
Who:
Announcer
The end?
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 3
*cough* Button.
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
852
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
850
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
847
Who:
Core 1
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
841
Who:
Turret
I'm fine!
Listens:
838
Who:
Turret
Space.
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 1
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
831
Who:
Core 3
Woooaaah!
Listens:
827
Who:
Turret
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
826
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home.
Listens:
824
Who:
Core 1
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
821
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 1
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
812
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
811
Who:
Core 1
Why?
Listens:
811
Who:
Turret
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
808
Who:
GLaDOS
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
808
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
806
Who:
Core 1
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
805
Who:
Announcer
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
805
Who:
Cave Johnson
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
804
Who:
Announcer
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
804
Who:
Wheatley
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
798
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
797
Who:
Defective Turret
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
796
Who:
Core 3
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
790
Who:
Core 1
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
788
Who:
Core 1
Oh!
Listens:
788
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
785
Who:
Turret
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
784
Who:
Announcer
Space.
Listens:
784
Who:
Core 1
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
784
Who:
Core 1
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
784
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
784
Who:
Defective Turret
Please stop.
Listens:
784
Who:
Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
782
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
782
Who:
Wheatley
No hard fealings
Listens:
781
Who:
Turret
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
780
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooo?
Listens:
778
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
777
Who:
Core 1
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
777
Who:
Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
776
Who:
Core 1
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
775
Who:
Core 1
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
773
Who:
Cave Johnson
Are we in space?
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 1
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
771
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
770
Who:
Core 1
I love space.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 1
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
768
Who:
Announcer
Hey.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 1
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 2
Machiavellian!
Listens:
765
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
763
Who:
Core 1
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
763
Who:
Defective Turret
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
762
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
761
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
760
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
759
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
759
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
758
Who:
Core 1
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 1
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 1
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
756
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
756
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
755
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
755
Who:
Core 1
I'm going to space.
Listens:
754
Who:
Core 1
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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