Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you.
Listens:
1035
Who:
Cave Johnson
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1035
Who:
GLaDOS
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
1035
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
1035
Who:
Turret
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1034
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 3
AHH!
Listens:
1023
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Core 1
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1014
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1012
Who:
Cave Johnson
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1012
Who:
Wheatley
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1005
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
999
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
998
Who:
Turret
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
996
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
993
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
992
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
989
Who:
Turret
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
988
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
988
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
987
Who:
Wheatley
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
986
Who:
Defective Turret
Why?
Listens:
984
Who:
Turret
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
979
Who:
Core 1
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
975
Who:
Core 3
Wanna go home.
Listens:
972
Who:
Core 1
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
970
Who:
Cave Johnson
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
968
Who:
Core 3
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
966
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello.
Listens:
965
Who:
Defective Turret
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
963
Who:
Announcer
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
961
Who:
GLaDOS
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
960
Who:
Core 3
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
959
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
957
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
956
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooo?
Listens:
956
Who:
Wheatley
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
952
Who:
Announcer
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
952
Who:
Wheatley
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
951
Who:
Core 1
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
950
Who:
Announcer
Oh boy.
Listens:
949
Who:
Core 1
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
949
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
946
Who:
Core 3
No hard fealings
Listens:
946
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
944
Who:
Core 1
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
944
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
938
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
937
Who:
GLaDOS
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
936
Who:
Core 3
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
935
Who:
Core 1
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
934
Who:
Defective Turret
Blah.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
932
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
931
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
929
Who:
GLaDOS
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
925
Who:
Core 1
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
925
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
923
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
922
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
921
Who:
Core 1
Illegal operation
Listens:
920
Who:
Turret
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
919
Who:
Announcer
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
919
Who:
Core 1
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
916
Who:
Core 1
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
916
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing?
Listens:
914
Who:
Turret
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
912
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
910
Who:
Core 1
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
909
Who:
Cave Johnson
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
909
Who:
Core 3
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
Are we in space?
Listens:
908
Who:
Core 1
Crap!
Listens:
908
Who:
Defective Turret
I love space.
Listens:
905
Who:
Core 1
You will never go into space.
Listens:
904
Who:
Core 3
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
904
Who:
Defective Turret
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
Please go to space.
Listens:
902
Who:
Core 1
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
901
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
901
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
901
Who:
Defective Turret
Press the button again.
Listens:
900
Who:
GLaDOS
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
900
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
899
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
899
Who:
Core 1
Machiavellian!
Listens:
899
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
899
Who:
Wheatley
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
899
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
898
Who:
Announcer
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
898
Who:
Core 1
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
898
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
898
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
897
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
