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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
848
Who:
Core 3
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
846
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
844
Who:
Cave Johnson
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
842
Who:
Announcer
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
840
Who:
Defective Turret
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
836
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
834
Who:
Wheatley
The end?
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
828
Who:
Core 1
Crap!
Listens:
828
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
827
Who:
Turret
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
825
Who:
Core 3
Space.
Listens:
821
Who:
Core 1
I'm fine!
Listens:
821
Who:
Turret
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 1
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
808
Who:
Turret
Wanna go home.
Listens:
807
Who:
Core 1
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
806
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
801
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
798
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
798
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
797
Who:
Turret
Oh boy.
Listens:
795
Who:
Core 1
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
793
Who:
Defective Turret
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
791
Who:
Cave Johnson
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
791
Who:
Wheatley
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
790
Who:
Core 3
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
786
Who:
Announcer
AHH!
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
784
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
782
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
779
Who:
Defective Turret
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
777
Who:
Announcer
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
775
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 1
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 1
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
773
Who:
Wheatley
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 1
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
770
Who:
Announcer
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
770
Who:
Core 1
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
769
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
769
Who:
Turret
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
Helloooo?
Listens:
768
Who:
Wheatley
Please stop.
Listens:
766
Who:
Turret
No hard fealings
Listens:
766
Who:
Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh!
Listens:
764
Who:
Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
763
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
762
Who:
Core 1
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
762
Who:
Core 3
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
762
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
762
Who:
Turret
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
760
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
759
Who:
Core 1
Machiavellian!
Listens:
759
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
759
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
756
Who:
Announcer
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
755
Who:
Cave Johnson
Are we in space?
Listens:
755
Who:
Core 1
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
755
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello.
Listens:
755
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
753
Who:
Core 2
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
751
Who:
Core 3
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
751
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
748
Who:
Core 1
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
748
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
748
Who:
Turret
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
747
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
747
Who:
Core 1
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
746
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
745
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
745
Who:
Core 1
I love space.
Listens:
744
Who:
Core 1
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
Going to space.
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 1
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 1
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
742
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
741
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
741
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
741
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
740
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
740
Who:
Core 1
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
740
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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