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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
716
Who:
Announcer
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
716
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 1
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
713
Who:
Wheatley
The end?
Listens:
712
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
710
Who:
Core 1
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
709
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
705
Who:
Core 3
Um, hello?
Listens:
705
Who:
Turret
Ahh!
Listens:
704
Who:
Turret
Please put me down
Listens:
704
Who:
Turret
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
703
Who:
Core 3
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
701
Who:
Core 1
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
701
Who:
Core 2
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 3
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
697
Who:
Announcer
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 1
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
688
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 1
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
680
Who:
Announcer
*cough* Button.
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
678
Who:
Announcer
Wanna go home.
Listens:
677
Who:
Core 1
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
675
Who:
Announcer
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
675
Who:
Cave Johnson
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
670
Who:
Core 1
Hello?
Listens:
669
Who:
Turret
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 1
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
Helloooo?
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
667
Who:
Turret
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 1
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
665
Who:
Defective Turret
Woooaaah!
Listens:
665
Who:
Turret
No hard fealings
Listens:
664
Who:
Turret
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
662
Who:
Core 1
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fine!
Listens:
662
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
661
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
658
Who:
Defective Turret
Why?
Listens:
658
Who:
Turret
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
I love space.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 1
Are we in space?
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 1
You will never go into space.
Listens:
654
Who:
Core 3
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 2
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
650
Who:
Announcer
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
650
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
649
Who:
Core 3
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
646
Who:
Core 3
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
645
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
642
Who:
Core 1
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
641
Who:
Core 1
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
641
Who:
Core 3
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
640
Who:
Core 3
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 1
Press the button again.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
638
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
638
Who:
Core 1
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
637
Who:
Core 2
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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