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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Help! Being squished!
Listens:
747
Who:
Turret
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
738
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 1
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
736
Who:
Wheatley
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
735
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
733
Who:
Defective Turret
The end?
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
729
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
727
Who:
GLaDOS
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
726
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space.
Listens:
726
Who:
Core 1
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
718
Who:
Core 2
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
717
Who:
Wheatley
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
716
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
713
Who:
Announcer
Hello?
Listens:
713
Who:
Turret
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
712
Who:
Core 3
Oh boy.
Listens:
711
Who:
Core 1
Machiavellian!
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
711
Who:
Defective Turret
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
709
Who:
Core 3
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
704
Who:
Core 1
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
694
Who:
Announcer
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
694
Who:
Defective Turret
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 1
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
691
Who:
Announcer
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
690
Who:
Announcer
I'm fine!
Listens:
689
Who:
Turret
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
688
Who:
Defective Turret
Woooaaah!
Listens:
688
Who:
Turret
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
687
Who:
Cave Johnson
Helloooo?
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
684
Who:
Core 1
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
684
Who:
Turret
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 1
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
683
Who:
Turret
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
No hard fealings
Listens:
681
Who:
Turret
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
674
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
673
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
672
Who:
Core 1
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
672
Who:
Core 1
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space.
Listens:
669
Who:
Core 1
Are we in space?
Listens:
669
Who:
Core 1
Oh!
Listens:
668
Who:
Turret
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 3
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
You will never go into space.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 3
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
659
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
658
Who:
Announcer
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
658
Who:
Core 3
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 1
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 1
Hello.
Listens:
656
Who:
Defective Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 2
Press the button again.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 1
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
650
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
650
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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