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Portal 2
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Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
770
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
770
Who:
Wheatley
The end?
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
768
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
765
Who:
Core 1
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
765
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
760
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
757
Who:
Turret
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
754
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
752
Who:
Defective Turret
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
750
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 1
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
748
Who:
Announcer
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
748
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home.
Listens:
747
Who:
Core 1
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
744
Who:
Wheatley
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 3
Woooaaah!
Listens:
742
Who:
Turret
Oh boy.
Listens:
741
Who:
Core 1
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fine!
Listens:
740
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
737
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
734
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
731
Who:
Core 3
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
729
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
726
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
725
Who:
Core 2
Why?
Listens:
725
Who:
Turret
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
724
Who:
Announcer
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
721
Who:
Core 1
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
721
Who:
Core 1
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
720
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
719
Who:
Defective Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
716
Who:
Announcer
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
716
Who:
Core 1
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
714
Who:
Core 1
No hard fealings
Listens:
714
Who:
Turret
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
713
Who:
Announcer
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
712
Who:
Turret
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooo?
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
707
Who:
Core 1
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
706
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey.
Listens:
703
Who:
Core 1
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Are we in space?
Listens:
700
Who:
Core 1
Oh!
Listens:
700
Who:
Turret
I love space.
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 1
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
691
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
691
Who:
Turret
Hey lady.
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
689
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
688
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
688
Who:
Core 1
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 1
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 1
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
686
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
686
Who:
Core 1
You will never go into space.
Listens:
686
Who:
Core 3
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to space.
Listens:
684
Who:
Core 1
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 3
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 3
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
682
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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