Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
755
Who:
Wheatley
The end?
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
751
Who:
Core 1
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
749
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button.
Listens:
746
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
746
Who:
Defective Turret
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
741
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 1
Hello?
Listens:
735
Who:
Turret
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
734
Who:
Cave Johnson
Crap!
Listens:
734
Who:
Defective Turret
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
733
Who:
Core 3
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
729
Who:
Announcer
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
723
Who:
Core 1
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
723
Who:
Core 2
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 3
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 3
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Machiavellian!
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fine!
Listens:
720
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
717
Who:
Core 1
Why?
Listens:
717
Who:
Turret
Woooaaah!
Listens:
717
Who:
Turret
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
713
Who:
Core 1
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
712
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
712
Who:
Wheatley
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
712
Who:
Defective Turret
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
709
Who:
Announcer
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
706
Who:
Announcer
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
705
Who:
Announcer
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
704
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
703
Who:
Turret
Wanna go home.
Listens:
701
Who:
Core 1
No hard fealings
Listens:
701
Who:
Turret
Helloooo?
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 1
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
696
Who:
Core 1
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
694
Who:
Cave Johnson
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
694
Who:
Core 1
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 1
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
Oh!
Listens:
690
Who:
Turret
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 1
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 1
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
682
Who:
Core 1
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
682
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
681
Who:
Core 1
You will never go into space.
Listens:
681
Who:
Core 3
Blah.
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space.
Listens:
680
Who:
Core 1
Are we in space?
Listens:
679
Who:
Core 1
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
679
Who:
Core 3
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
676
Who:
Turret
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
675
Who:
Core 3
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
673
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
672
Who:
Announcer
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
669
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
666
Who:
Core 1
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
666
Who:
Core 1
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
666
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
666
Who:
Turret
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 1
Press the button again.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 1
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 2
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
662
Who:
Core 1
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
661
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
661
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
