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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Lady.
Listens:
641
Who:
Core 1
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 3
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
639
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, this is just PERFECT!
Listens:
636
Who:
Defective Turret
Machiavellian!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
632
Who:
Core 3
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
631
Who:
Announcer
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
626
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
626
Who:
Turret
Owwwww!
Listens:
623
Who:
Turret
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
622
Who:
Wheatley
Malfunctioning
Listens:
622
Who:
Turret
Space.
Listens:
619
Who:
Core 1
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
618
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
617
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
617
Who:
Wheatley
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
GAAAA!
Listens:
616
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
615
Who:
Core 1
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
615
Who:
Core 2
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
615
Who:
Turret
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
The end?
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, crap.
Listens:
609
Who:
Defective Turret
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
607
Who:
Announcer
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
607
Who:
Announcer
Please put me down
Listens:
605
Who:
Turret
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
604
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
604
Who:
Defective Turret
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
602
Who:
Announcer
Hey.
Listens:
601
Who:
Core 1
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
601
Who:
Core 2
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
600
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
600
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
599
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
596
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
595
Who:
Core 1
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
595
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
594
Who:
Announcer
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 1
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
593
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home.
Listens:
590
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 1
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
587
Who:
Core 3
Ahh!
Listens:
587
Who:
Turret
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
586
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
586
Who:
Turret
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
584
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
No hard fealings
Listens:
583
Who:
Turret
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
582
Who:
Defective Turret
Um, hello?
Listens:
582
Who:
Turret
I love space.
Listens:
581
Who:
Core 1
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
581
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
579
Who:
Core 1
Crap!
Listens:
579
Who:
Defective Turret
Why?
Listens:
579
Who:
Turret
Helloooo?
Listens:
578
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
576
Who:
Core 1
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
574
Who:
Core 3
I'm fine!
Listens:
574
Who:
Turret
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
573
Who:
Core 3
Hello?
Listens:
573
Who:
Turret
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
572
Who:
Announcer
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
572
Who:
Core 1
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
571
Who:
Core 1
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
571
Who:
Core 3
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
570
Who:
Cave Johnson
Press the button again.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
569
Who:
Core 1
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
569
Who:
Defective Turret
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
568
Who:
Cave Johnson
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
568
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
567
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
567
Who:
Core 1
Woooaaah!
Listens:
567
Who:
Turret
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
566
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
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