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Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
362
Who:
Core 2
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
362
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
362
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
360
Who:
Core 2
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
359
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
358
Who:
Core 2
Run!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
358
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
357
Who:
Defective Turret
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
347
Who:
Defective Turret
You did it!
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
You KNOW her?
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
339
Who:
Defective Turret
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
337
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
336
Who:
Defective Turret
Think about this.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
335
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
335
Who:
Defective Turret
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