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And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
368
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
367
Who:
Core 2
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
367
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
367
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
366
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
364
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
362
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
362
Who:
Core 2
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
358
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
GAH!
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
You did it!
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
352
Who:
Defective Turret
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Look!
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
348
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
Think about this.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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