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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
331
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
331
Who:
Defective Turret
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
328
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
327
Who:
Defective Turret
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
326
Who:
Defective Turret
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Come back!
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
324
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
323
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
322
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
321
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
319
Who:
Core 2
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
317
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Well played.
Listens:
314
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
313
Who:
Defective Turret
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
312
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
You KNOW her?
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
311
Who:
Defective Turret
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
306
Who:
Defective Turret
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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