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Portal 2
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Are you alive down there?
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
375
Who:
Core 2
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
375
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
374
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
369
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
369
Who:
Core 2
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
Look!
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
359
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
357
Who:
Defective Turret
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
352
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
352
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
352
Who:
Defective Turret
Emotional problems.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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