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Portal 2
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Time to watch the master.
Listens:
251
Who:
Defective Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
249
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
248
Who:
Defective Turret
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
247
Who:
Defective Turret
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
I tell you, if I was up against impossible odds, this is the way I'd want to go out: mashed with dignity. That'd be the way I'd choose.
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
244
Who:
Defective Turret
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
243
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
243
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
241
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
241
Who:
Defective Turret
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
240
Who:
Defective Turret
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
What are you two doing?
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
237
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
237
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
237
Who:
Defective Turret
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
236
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
236
Who:
Defective Turret
MOVE.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
234
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
234
Who:
Defective Turret
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
232
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
231
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh...
Listens:
230
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
230
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
228
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
228
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
227
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
227
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
227
Who:
Defective Turret
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
226
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
224
Who:
GLaDOS
If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
Listens:
224
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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