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Portal 2
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Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
310
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
310
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
MOVE.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Come back!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
307
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
307
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
306
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh...
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
304
Who:
Core 2
clickclickclick
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh no...
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
301
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
299
Who:
Defective Turret
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
299
Who:
Defective Turret
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
295
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
292
Who:
Defective Turret
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
287
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
You KNOW her?
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
284
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
284
Who:
Defective Turret
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
283
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
282
Who:
Defective Turret
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
281
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
281
Who:
Defective Turret
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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