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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
296
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
294
Who:
Defective Turret
No!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
293
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
292
Who:
Core 2
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
292
Who:
Defective Turret
Agggh...
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
289
Who:
Defective Turret
MOVE.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
287
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
287
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
285
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
283
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
281
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
277
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
274
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
274
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
GAH!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
273
Who:
Defective Turret
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
272
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
269
Who:
Defective Turret
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
267
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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