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Done! Hacked!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
307
Who:
Core 3
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
302
Who:
Core 3
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
293
Who:
Turret
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
292
Who:
Core 2
One
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
I need backup!
Listens:
291
Who:
Turret
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
290
Who:
Turret
science collaboration points.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
288
Who:
Core 3
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
286
Who:
Core 2
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
286
Who:
Core 2
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
285
Who:
Defective Turret
three
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Always sad.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Firing
Listens:
283
Who:
Turret
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
282
Who:
Core 2
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
280
Who:
Turret
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
280
Who:
Turret
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
279
Who:
Core 3
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
279
Who:
Turret
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
278
Who:
Defective Turret
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
277
Who:
Core 2
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
274
Who:
Core 3
Just stop it already.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Noted.
Listens:
274
Who:
Turret
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
There. Fixed.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
272
Who:
Core 3
It's not, though.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactions?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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