Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
367
Who:
Turret
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
367
Who:
Turret
Don't do it.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
359
Who:
Turret
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
357
Who:
Core 2
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
355
Who:
Core 3
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
355
Who:
Core 2
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
353
Who:
Turret
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
349
Who:
Core 2
Just stop it already.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Nicely Done!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
three
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
Who said that?
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
342
Who:
Core 3
science collaboration points.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactions?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done!
Listens:
337
Who:
Turret
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
335
Who:
Core 2
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
333
Who:
Core 3
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
333
Who:
Core 3
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
333
Who:
Core 3
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on!
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
[yelling]
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
332
Who:
Defective Turret
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
329
Who:
Turret
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
328
Who:
Core 3
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
328
Who:
Turret
Yes.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
326
Who:
Defective Turret
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
325
Who:
Defective Turret
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
