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You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
401
Who:
Core 3
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
401
Who:
Core 2
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
401
Who:
Core 2
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
400
Who:
Core 3
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not, though.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
three
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
394
Who:
Core 3
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
394
Who:
Turret
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
385
Who:
Core 3
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on!
Listens:
385
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
385
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
384
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh my.
Listens:
384
Who:
Turret
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
381
Who:
Defective Turret
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
380
Who:
Core 2
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Reactions?
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
376
Who:
Core 2
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
374
Who:
Core 3
Canvassing
Listens:
374
Who:
Turret
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
science collaboration points.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
368
Who:
Defective Turret
Always sleeping.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
365
Who:
Core 2
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
364
Who:
Core 3
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
360
Who:
Core 3
Please get it off me.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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