Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
387
Who:
Core 2
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Two
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
382
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
382
Who:
Core 2
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
I know you.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
375
Who:
Core 2
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
373
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
359
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Ow.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
357
Who:
Defective Turret
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
353
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
