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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
269
Who:
Core 3
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
269
Who:
Core 3
Yeah.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
267
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
267
Who:
Defective Turret
Well done!
Listens:
267
Who:
Turret
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
264
Who:
Turret
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
263
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
259
Who:
Core 2
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
259
Who:
Turret
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
258
Who:
Turret
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
256
Who:
Defective Turret
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
255
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
255
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
254
Who:
Core 2
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
254
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
253
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
251
Who:
Core 2
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
250
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
248
Who:
Core 2
Two
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing great!
Listens:
246
Who:
Core 2
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
245
Who:
Defective Turret
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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