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Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
445
Who:
Defective Turret
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
444
Who:
Core 2
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
442
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
441
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
441
Who:
Defective Turret
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
440
Who:
Core 3
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
440
Who:
Core 2
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
439
Who:
Core 2
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
431
Who:
Defective Turret
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
424
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
421
Who:
Core 2
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
418
Who:
Defective Turret
Ow.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
417
Who:
Defective Turret
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
417
Who:
Defective Turret
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
416
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
415
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang.
Listens:
415
Who:
Defective Turret
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
412
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
412
Who:
Defective Turret
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
411
Who:
Defective Turret
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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