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Portal 2
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Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
Yeghh!
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
431
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
eight
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
430
Who:
Defective Turret
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
428
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
428
Who:
Defective Turret
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
426
Who:
Core 3
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
422
Who:
Core 2
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
416
Who:
Core 2
Sorry.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
416
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
408
Who:
Defective Turret
Alarmist.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
405
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
405
Who:
Defective Turret
Cheater.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
404
Who:
Defective Turret
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
401
Who:
Defective Turret
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
400
Who:
Defective Turret
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
398
Who:
Defective Turret
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
397
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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