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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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ow.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
377
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
377
Who:
Core 2
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
376
Who:
Core 2
There. Try it now.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Two
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
371
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang.
Listens:
364
Who:
Defective Turret
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
361
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
353
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
350
Who:
Defective Turret
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
349
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
347
Who:
Core 2
Alarmist.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Ow.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
347
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
346
Who:
Core 2
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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