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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
341
Who:
Core 2
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
There. Fixed.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
335
Who:
Core 2
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Yeghh!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
330
Who:
Core 2
Yeah.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
327
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
326
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
324
Who:
Defective Turret
Two
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
318
Who:
Core 2
NO!
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
316
Who:
Core 2
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
315
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
315
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
313
Who:
Defective Turret
eight
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
311
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
309
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
304
Who:
Core 2
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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