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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Please get it off me.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Yeghh!
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
366
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
366
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
361
Who:
Core 3
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
361
Who:
Core 2
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
359
Who:
Core 3
Two
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
355
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
351
Who:
Defective Turret
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
349
Who:
Core 2
Sorry.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
348
Who:
Defective Turret
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
339
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
338
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
337
Who:
Core 2
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Ow.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
336
Who:
Core 2
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
332
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
332
Who:
Defective Turret
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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