Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
468
Who:
Core 3
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
468
Who:
Core 2
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
Always sleeping.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
461
Who:
Core 2
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
460
Who:
Defective Turret
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
459
Who:
Core 2
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
457
Who:
Core 3
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
455
Who:
Defective Turret
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
453
Who:
Core 2
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
449
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
448
Who:
Defective Turret
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
447
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
447
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
446
Who:
Wheatley
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry.
Listens:
442
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
442
Who:
Wheatley
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
440
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
437
Who:
Defective Turret
NOT a team player.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
435
Who:
Defective Turret
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
433
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
433
Who:
Defective Turret
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
431
Who:
Defective Turret
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
430
Who:
Defective Turret
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
