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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
349
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
347
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
347
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
337
Who:
Core 2
Dang.
Listens:
336
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
323
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
323
Who:
Defective Turret
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
321
Who:
Core 2
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
321
Who:
Core 2
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
320
Who:
Defective Turret
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
320
Who:
Defective Turret
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
319
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
318
Who:
Defective Turret
five
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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