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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
394
Who:
Core 2
Yeghh!
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
393
Who:
Core 3
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
393
Who:
Core 3
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
392
Who:
Core 2
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
391
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
389
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
386
Who:
Core 3
Yeah.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
385
Who:
Core 2
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
383
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
378
Who:
Core 2
eight
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
366
Who:
Defective Turret
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
364
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
362
Who:
Defective Turret
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
358
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
356
Who:
Core 2
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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