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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Dang.
Listens:
403
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
403
Who:
Defective Turret
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
402
Who:
Core 3
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
402
Who:
Core 3
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
401
Who:
Core 2
Uh oh.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
397
Who:
Core 2
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
396
Who:
Defective Turret
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
395
Who:
Core 3
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
388
Who:
Core 2
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
385
Who:
Defective Turret
eight
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
375
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
373
Who:
Defective Turret
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
371
Who:
Defective Turret
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
370
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
368
Who:
Defective Turret
Ow.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
367
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
366
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
366
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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