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You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
571
Who:
Core 3
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
571
Who:
Core 2
I know you.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
570
Who:
Defective Turret
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
Ow.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
566
Who:
Defective Turret
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
565
Who:
Defective Turret
five
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
564
Who:
Defective Turret
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
561
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
559
Who:
Defective Turret
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
555
Who:
Defective Turret
Cheater.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
It's eating me.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
550
Who:
Defective Turret
AH!
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
548
Who:
Core 2
Always sleeping.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
544
Who:
Core 3
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
537
Who:
Core 2
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
534
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
534
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
534
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
528
Who:
Wheatley
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 2
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
527
Who:
Defective Turret
NOT a team player.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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