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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Canvassing
Listens:
320
Who:
Turret
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
318
Who:
Core 2
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
312
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
308
Who:
Core 2
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
307
Who:
Core 2
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
299
Who:
Defective Turret
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
299
Who:
Defective Turret
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
298
Who:
Defective Turret
Two
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
294
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
292
Who:
Core 2
Yeghh!
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
292
Who:
Defective Turret
eight
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
290
Who:
Core 2
NO!
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
286
Who:
Core 2
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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