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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
303
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
302
Who:
Core 2
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
301
Who:
Defective Turret
There. Try it now.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
298
Who:
Turret
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
297
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
296
Who:
Core 2
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
295
Who:
Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
293
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on!
Listens:
287
Who:
Defective Turret
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
284
Who:
Core 2
Oh my.
Listens:
284
Who:
Turret
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
282
Who:
Core 2
Yeghh!
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
281
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
277
Who:
Core 2
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
eight
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
276
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
276
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
275
Who:
Core 2
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
273
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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