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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
275
Who:
Core 2
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
275
Who:
Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
273
Who:
Defective Turret
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
272
Who:
Defective Turret
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
269
Who:
Defective Turret
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
266
Who:
Core 2
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
265
Who:
Turret
Resting
Listens:
265
Who:
Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
264
Who:
Core 2
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
264
Who:
Defective Turret
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
263
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
263
Who:
Defective Turret
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
261
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
260
Who:
Core 2
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
260
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't fair!
Listens:
259
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
257
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
256
Who:
Core 2
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
256
Who:
Core 2
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
252
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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