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Portal 2
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He's found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... em, just something I came up with to phase out human test subjects.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
185
Who:
Wheatley
If you are alive, can you say something. Jump around so I know you are OK?
Listens:
185
Who:
Wheatley
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
OW!
Listens:
184
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
184
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
184
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
183
Who:
Wheatley
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
182
Who:
GLaDOS
This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
Listens:
182
Who:
GLaDOS
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
182
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
182
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
182
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
181
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
181
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
181
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
181
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, do you feel betrayed by Blue for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
180
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
179
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
179
Who:
Wheatley
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
179
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
179
Who:
Defective Turret
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
178
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
178
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
178
Who:
Wheatley
This is the turret manufacturing wing. Just past this is the neurotoxin production facility. We find a way to take them both offline, and she’ll be helpless. Which is ideal.
Listens:
178
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
178
Who:
Defective Turret
Get ready for it!
Listens:
178
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
178
Who:
Defective Turret
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
177
Who:
Wheatley
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
177
Who:
Wheatley
I won't let you down!
Listens:
177
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
176
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
176
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! How long's the door been open?
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
You did very well.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
Listens:
174
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
I swear I know him...
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay back.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
173
Who:
Wheatley
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
Impossible as it is to imagine, there actually is a solution. Devilishly hidden.
Listens:
172
Who:
Wheatley
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
172
Who:
Wheatley
I'm trouble.
Listens:
172
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
171
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
171
Who:
Defective Turret
What'd I hit?
Listens:
171
Who:
Defective Turret
Standing down.
Listens:
171
Who:
Defective Turret
Cryptic.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
Was that necessary?
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
You asked for this!
Listens:
170
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
170
Who:
Defective Turret
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
169
Who:
Defective Turret
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Listen. I can't do it with you watching. I know it seems pathetic, given what we've been through. But just turn around. Please?
Listens:
168
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
168
Who:
Defective Turret
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, you are just wasting my time.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Wet blanket.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
You really don't need to keep failing.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, you didn't have time to stop, I understand, but that WAS actually important.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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