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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I'll meet you on the other side!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Can you get out?
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on in there?
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Just turn around.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2839
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
598
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Hurry!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
I can't hold on! Come on!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
732
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Ok... Here we go...
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
931
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, what have we got?
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
And a monitor. Yes. That'll be important, I imagine. I'll keep my eye on that. In case something useful comes up like 'password identified' or something like that.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
740
Who:
Wheatley
Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3872
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4179
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
3200
Who:
Wheatley
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on -
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I knew we were going the right way.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
876
Who:
Wheatley
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on?
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright?
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Probably best to ignore it, though. Just leave it be. We don't know where those panels it's cutting are going. Could be somewhere important.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1814
Who:
Wheatley
Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though.
Listens:
1608
Who:
Wheatley
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1068
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
This place is huge.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1255
Who:
Wheatley
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2931
Who:
Wheatley
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
It's interesting. You won't regret it. I promise.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Just... have a look through the old window.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Walk up to the window. Take a look out.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Ugh!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Enh!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Ooagh!
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Ungh!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Aggggh!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1200
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
744
Who:
Wheatley
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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