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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Helloooo?
Listens:
930
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1210
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
3454
Who:
Wheatley
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2180
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooooooooooo!
Listens:
1887
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
231
Who:
Wheatley
Open the door!
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
623
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, just a second...
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here...
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
How you doing down there? You still holding on?
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1380
Who:
Wheatley
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
942
Who:
Wheatley
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
231
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1025
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
617
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2275
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1115
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Can you--can you pick me up, please?
Listens:
1234
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Where am I? Where am I?
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
217
Who:
Wheatley
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
Still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up. Um.
Listens:
223
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
980
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
223
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
220
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I've just done it again.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
16983
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go in!
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
220
Who:
Wheatley
I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
Here she comes! Keep testing! Remember: you never saw me!
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
223
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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