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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Helloooo?
Listens:
949
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1232
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
3518
Who:
Wheatley
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2224
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooooooooooo!
Listens:
1947
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Open the door!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, just a second...
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here...
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
How you doing down there? You still holding on?
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1402
Who:
Wheatley
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
956
Who:
Wheatley
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1051
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2322
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1128
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Can you--can you pick me up, please?
Listens:
1251
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Where am I? Where am I?
Listens:
227
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
227
Who:
Wheatley
Still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up. Um.
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
989
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
223
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
452
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I've just done it again.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
811
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
17498
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go in!
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.
Listens:
222
Who:
Wheatley
Here she comes! Keep testing! Remember: you never saw me!
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
223
Who:
Wheatley
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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